Funniest Oaths Funny Oaths of Enlistment
All persons, upon entering U.Due south. Military Service and upon re-enlistment are required to take the Adjuration of Enlistment. At 1 fourth dimension the Oath of Enlistment was the same for all services. Due to changes in both society and the differing Military Branches, the Oath has undergone marked change and has been specifically tailored to each branch of the Military and their specific role. Hither are the latest versions of the Oath of Enlistment equally recently released past the Joint Chief'southward of Staff:
U.S. Regular army Adjuration of Enlistment
I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'thou non tough plenty for the Marines, and the Navy won't have me considering I tin't swim. I volition clothing camouflage every day and constrict my trousers into my boots because I tin can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I hope to wear my compatible 24 hours a day even when I have a appointment. I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the merely action I volition run across is a Courtroom Martial for sexual harassment. I admit the fact that I will brand Eastward-eight in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my Sexual.....er....I hateful "Basic Training," I volition attend a different Army schoolhouse every other calendar month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my offset trip home after Boot Camp I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my ninth form sweetheart. I will make my wife stay habitation considering if I let her out she might get out me for a improve looking Air Force guy. Should she get out me twelve times I will continue to take her back. While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely zip accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of forenoon PT and leave every day at 1300 to written report dorsum to "Visitor." I sympathize that I volition undergo no preparation whatsoever that volition help me get a job upon separation, and volition end up working structure with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Ground forces giving me $xxx,000 for higher, but will be unable to use it considering I can't laissez passer a placement examination. So Help Me God! __________________________
Signature & Date
U.S. Navy Oath of Enlistment
I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away four years of my life to the U.s. NAVY because I want to hang out with Marines without really having to BE ane of them, considering I thought the Air Force was likewise "corporate," because I didn't want to really live in dirt like the Army, and considering I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why non?" I promise to wear dress that went out of style in 1976 and to have my proper name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I empathise that I will exist mistaken for the Good Sense of humor Man during summer and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to utilise a unlike language than the rest of the English speaking earth, using words like "deck, bulkhead, embrace, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, processed, h2o fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I volition accept great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that thing, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense any. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 hrs every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will bear witness up around 0930 hours. I vow to strop my coffee cup handling skills to the signal that I tin stand upwards in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and later busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, in one case selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the ill, and quite perhaps illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune! __________________________
Signature & Appointment
U.S. Air Force Oath of Enlistment
I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my useless life to the U.s.a. AIR Force because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me and I am afraid of water over waist deep. I swear to sit backside a desk and accept credit for the work done past others more dedicated than me who take their task seriously. I also swear not to practice any form of existent practise, but promise to defend our bike riding test as a valid course of exercise. I swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States, even though I believe myself to be above that. I promise to walk around calling everyone past their kickoff name because I know I'thousand not actually in the Military and I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will take a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. Afterwards completion of "Bones Grooming" (snicker), I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, noncombatant-wearing-blue-clothes, Chairborne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will brand an effort to clean the knife earlier stabbing the next person in the back. I will exercise no piece of work unless someone is watching me (and information technology makes me expect good), will annoy those around me, and volition go habitation early every solar day. I consent to never being promoted (E'er) and sympathise that all those whom I fabricated fun of yesterday will probably outrank me tomorrow. Then Assist Me God! __________________________
Signature & Date
U.S. Marine Corps Oath of Enlistment
I, (accept someone recite your proper noun for you), swear.... uhhhh.... high-and-tight.... grunt.... cammies.... ugh.... Air Forcefulness Women.... OORAH! So Assist Me CORPS.! ______________________________________________
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